Whatever you do to manage stress, you can benefit from the regular use of relaxation skills. When learning relaxation skills, remove yourself from all outside distractions. It may take some practice to become comfortable with these techniques. Once you've trained your body and mind to relax (after 2 to 3 weeks), you'll be able to produce the same relaxed state whenever you want.

This guide is devoted to skills and techniques to relax your body. In addition to exercise, deep breathing, muscle relaxation, mental relaxation, and imagery are good ways to relieve tension.

Deep Breathing

The way we breathe is also a sign of stress levels. Breath-holding and hyperventilation (the feeling of not being able to catch your breath) are symptoms of tension. Whenever you find yourself doing either, use it as a cue to take time out to relax.

Roll Breathing

The object of roll breathing is to develop full use of your lungs. It can be practiced in any position, but it is best to learn it lying on your back, with your knees bent.

Step 1. Place your left hand on your abdomen and your right hand on your chest. Notice how your hands move as you breathe in and out.

Step 2. Practice filling your lower lungs by breathing so your left hand goes up and down while your right hand remains still. Always inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

Step 3. When you have filled and emptied your lower lungs eight to ten times, add another step to your breathing. Inhale into your lower lungs as before, and then continue inhaling into your upper chest. As you do so, your right hand will rise and your left hand will fall a little as your stomach draws in.

Step 4. As you exhale slowly through your mouth, make a quiet, whooshing sound as first your left hand and then your right hand falls. As you exhale, feel the tension leaving your body as you become more and more relaxed.

Step 5. Practice breathing in and out in this manner for 3 to 5 minutes. Notice that the movement of your abdomen and chest is like the rolling motion of waves rising and falling.

Practice roll breathing daily for several weeks until you can do it almost anywhere. Then you will have an instant relaxation tool anytime you need one.

Caution: Some people get dizzy the first few times they try roll breathing. If you begin to hyperventilate or become lightheaded, slow your breathing. Get up slowly and with support.

The Relaxing Sigh

During the day you may catch yourself sighing or yawning. A sigh or yawn releases a bit of tension.

Sit or stand up straight.

• Sigh deeply, letting out a sound of deep relief as the air rushes out of your lungs.

• Don't think about inhaling. just let the air come in naturally.

• Each time you breathe out, shake your hands away from your body as if you were throwing your tension away.

Repeat this eight to twelve times whenever needed. Feel the relaxation.

Muscle Relaxation

Stress and tension can lead to tight, sore muscles, especially in the neck and upper back. It may also contribute to headaches and fatigue. Techniques to relax your muscles can relieve tension and lead to relaxation.

Head, Neck, and Shoulder Massage

Massage helps relieve tight shoulder, neck, and back muscles and may work on headaches. It is best to have someone do the massage for you. However, many of the following steps (2, 5, 6, 7) can be done on your own.

Step 1. Have your partner sit comfortably upright in a chair with his or her feet flat on the floor. Stand behind your partner.

Step 2. Using both hands, gently massage across the top of the shoulders with a kneading motion.

Step 3. Apply gentle but firm and even pressure with your thumbs across the top of the shoulders. Work your way toward the neck and then back across to the ends of the shoulders.

Step 4. Locate the vertebrae at the base of the neck. Place your thumbs on either side of the vertebrae and apply gentle but firm pressure away from the spine. Continue down the back. Do not press on the spine itself.

Step 5. Locate the indentations at the base of the skull on either side of the spine at the back of the head. Apply gentle rotating pressure with your thumbs.

Step 6. Use three fingers on each hand to massage the jaw muscles. Have your partner clench his or her jaw. You will easily find the muscles that need to be rubbed. Make sure your partner's jaw is unclenched before you massage the muscles.

Step 7. Gently massage the temples using your fingertips. Work across the forehead and back to the temples.

Step 8. Bring your hands back to the shoulders, and allow your hands to say "goodbye" with a few soft, calming strokes.