Winning the Battle of the Mane Good cuts, bad color, strange or expensive products most of us have lived through a whole gamut of experiences during our quest for the perfect 'do. Then, just when we thought we'd won the battle, our hair started to change. During or just after our thirties, "the grays" began their assault. To make matters worse, our hair started growing more slowly and becoming finer. So now what? So now it's time to update the 'do, to give it back the shine, resiliency, color, and shape that looked so great just a few short years ago. Finding Your New Look Every woman feels a little anxiety, as well as a little excitement, when she's on the verge of changing her hairstyle. And for no small reason. She may enter the salon as one person and come out looking like someone else altogether. People will react to her a little differently than they ever have before. And when she looks in the mirror, she'll meet a new person, whom she hopes she'll like. It can end up being a very good experience or a very bad one. Here are some ways to tilt the odds in your favor. Assess from head to toe. Your hair is part of a package, so selecting a style that suits only your face can undermine your entire look. Not only should you consider the shape of your face, but also your height, weight, what your day today life is like, and how handy or not you are with styling, says Victoria Meekins, vice president of Kenneth's Salon/KEB Associates at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City. The key to a great look is homing in on the styles that best suit the total you. Be open to change. Committing to a hairstyle isn't like taking an oath of allegiance. "It's only hair; it'll always grow back," says stylist Alex Ioannou, co owner of Trio Salon in Chicago. On average, hair grows 112 inch a month. So experiment, try new things. If it doesn't work, there's always next time. Define yourself. Even a hairdresser who knows you well isn't psychic. Without specific examples, she may not understand what you mean by an updated or youthful new hairstyle. "What you think is attractive and what I think is attractive may be two very different things," says Keith Ayotte, creative director for Vidal Sassoon in Atlanta. So give the subject some thought before you see a stylist. Collect images. Whenever you see a picture of a model with a hairstyle that you like, tear it out. Start a collection. Don't worry about whether any of the styles will look good on you. "Pictures give me a better idea of what you're looking for. Making the style work is my job," explains Ayotte. Building a Better Partnership On the job experience and constant training help professional stylists develop a keen sense of what's right or wrong for a client. Your role in this transaction isn't passive. Whether you've seen the same stylist for decades or you're searching for someone new to help you update your look, there are steps stylists say that you can take to ease the process. Book a consultation. You don't have to get your hair cut and styled every time you step into a salon. It'll probably feel weird walking out without a cut, but getting an expert opinion is a great first step to giving your image a fresh new edge. Fire a warning shot. When you're ready for an update, put your hairdresser on alert. Call a couple of days before your appointment and tell the pro that you want to try something new. Your stylist will probably be excited by this creative opportunity and love the idea of having the time to research some great options. Pick and choose. There are many different types of salons. Go to one that caters to contemporary style without being too avant garde. The people at the modern salon are more grounded. They are the ones who know how to make a trend wearable. Shop with care. Look for an experienced stylist. If in doubt, a salon receptionist can offer background on the stylist that you're thinking about visiting. Build a relationship. Once you've chosen a stylist, stick with her. Someone who knows you will be much better at advising you than a complete stranger would be. Whenever you become bored with your current cut and color, she'll be your best ally in choosing a new look. And you'll know that you can trust her judgment. Do's and Don'ts We live in an era of fashion flexibility. You can go long or short, curly or straight without incurring the wrath of the fashion police. Yet it's still possible to end up with a "don't" when you're updating a 'do. Here are some suggestions to keep you on the right track. Be true to you. "I don't think that sticking with the latest trend is what makes you look younger," says Ayotte. It's fine to pay attention to the popular length, style, and color, yet these shouldn't dictate your choices. Regardless of the look that others are touting, go with what works for you. "You'll look beautiful, and when you look beautiful, you'll look and feel younger," he says. Cut the curl. Meekins spent the 1960s with her locks wrapped in juice cans, and the 1970s using chemical straighteners. No matter what this New York City resident tried, controlling her frizzy hair was a struggle, so she went natural. Doing her hair became easier, but there was something about her look that she just didn't like. Finally, she asked her stylist about it. The candid answer was an eye opener, "Your tight, short curls make you look old." Taking her cue from the expert, she grew her hair almost to her shoulders and started straightening it again. But this time she's getting a professional blow dry styling every 3 to 4 days, instead of chemical treatments. Try longer locks. It's tempting to solve an image dilemma by cutting off your hair. In fact, some women think that chopping their locks is a rite of passage. "It drives me crazy that so many women buy into the myth that they have to go shorter as they get older," says salon owner and stylist Frank Shipman of Technicolor Salon and Day Spa in Allentown, Pennsylvania. "Shoulder length hair can look fabulous if it suits YOU." Accept your hair. Long, short, thick, thin, straight, curly whatever your hair's characteristics it's more than likely that you want to change something about it. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the salon. Find a style that works with your hair's texture and growth patterns. You'll be happier with the result. loannou says that working with, rather than against, your hair eliminates the passed habits of setting, spraying, and teasing. 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